Gold Wings and Sparrowhawk - a JAG fanfiction
by dragonsfaerie
Summary: Harm made a friend while he was a pilot, and they stayed in touch through the years. But their friendship took an unexpected turn (Not a Harm/Mac fanfic)
1. Chapter 1-6

Foreword

This is a work of fiction. I took liberties with factual history to write my story, but I tried to stay truthful to the series JAG and its characters.

The first female fighter Pilot in the French Air Force is Caroline « Moineau » Aigle, who became one in 1999. This story is a tribute to all female pilots.

I'm not military, or a pilot, so any mistake is mine (and you can give me pointers if you want them corrected!)

Every sentence written in italics is spoken in French, but written in english for easier comprehension.

Sorry for the shipper fans, this is not a Harm/Mac story (and you can stop reading here if you don't like it, I won't mind)

Chapter 1

Thursday June 7 1990

Over the Adriatic

The two Navy Tomcats were looking for their targets, a couple of French Air Force Mirages. The skies were clear, the winds soft.

Suddenly, a voice resounded in Harm's helmet.

« Two bogeys, bearing two-five-nine. »

« Bad Man one, taking the lead. Let's go hunt some Frenchies. »

Clipping on their masks, Harm and his wingman Swan took a dive to try and shoot the enemy aircafts. It was a NATO exercise, so it was going to be a simulated kill, but the chase was real, and whoever were those damn Frenchies, they were gonna get it !

In the French Mirages, the excitement was the same. Time to show those _amerloques_ who rules the sky !

The planes danced, swerved, dived, rolled, trying to get a lock and claim victory.

Swan was the first to yell.

« Bad Man Two, I got a firing solution, one bogey down ! »

« Let's go for the second one ! » Harm rolled to get behind the second Mirage, but it had time to disappear from the radars.

« Wedge, you see anything ? »

« Nothing on screen. Where did it go ? »

Harm and Swan went back in formation, looking for the Frenchie, but no luck. Until Wedge said. « I see it, it's coming right behind us ! »

Harm dived, trying to get away from the Mirage. But this pilot is a fine one, and Harm found himself locked... and shot.

« Swan, I'm out. They got me. Bad Man One back on deck. »

« Dam'it. I have to get the bastard ! Bad Man Two still in the air. Loki, you see anything ? »

The RIO nicknamed Loki looked out of the cockpit, trying to see where the Mirage went, checked his radar.

« No luck. Oh, wait. I have an echo on one seven four, but I'm not sure it's him. »

« Let's check it out. »

Swan and Loki turned to cross the bogey's path, but there's a slight problem.

« He's flying in the sun ! »

They dropped their sun visors to try and cut the sun's glare, but it was too late.

« He's locked on us ! Evasive maneuvers ! »

No luck. Only minutes after taking Harm and Wedge down, the Frenchie eliminated Swan and Loki as well.

The deception was big that night aboard the Seahawk. Despite one good kill, the idea of having been beaten by a single French plane was unnerving. First day of the war game, and they had already lost one encounter. Time to retaliate.

Over the next days, they shot down teams from other countries, but nothing could erase that first burn.

On the french Air Force base in Salon de Provence, on the other hand, a pilot was celebrated like a hero.

« _To Dragon, who took down those two Navy jokeys after her wingman has been taken out._ »

Lieutenant Hélène 'Nell' Marchand, callsign Dragon, was the first female aviator in the french Air Force, and the first to have taken down a target during these war games.

« _Thanks. But you know it's a team effort. If Gecko hadn't been shot down, I couldn't have done it._ »

The aviator nicknamed Gecko hanged his head with a half smile while everyone laughed. Dragon was known for giving a compliment before tearing you down.

« _Do we know the name of the team we got ?_ »

« _Not yet, but I'm sure word got around and we'll know soon enough._ »

« _One more for the Air Force the Navy won't get !_ »

On the last day of the war game, the ship's captain gathered his pilots and officers in the briefing room. Every team involved in the war games had the same message.

« Ladies, gentlemen, to mark the end of this exercise, the American delegation in Italy is organizing a ball in Naples tomorrow night. You have all been invited to join. Dress Whites for the men, women can chose between Dress Whites or a formal party dress. Schedules for departure will be handed out. You can be excused if you want. Dissmissed. »

The crew snapped to, and broke in little groups.

« You're attending ? »

« Oh yeah ! No way I'm missing that ! »

« I don't know if I'm gonna go, I don't dance ! »

« Come on, it'll be fun ! »

Harm was excited to go there. He was sure he was going to meet the team that had shot him, and he wanted to face them, whoever they were. He was not afraid of a little brawl if necessary, he just had to avoid doing it in front of the brass.

In her quarters, Nell looked at her dress. No uniform for her. Her mom had shipped her graduation dress, made from a dark green silk that made her pale skin shine, with a strapless bustier and a flowing skirt that was short in the front and long in the back. It enhanced her slender figure and made her look taller than her five feet eight inches. She was going to wear it with four inches black strap shoes, putting her in the six feet height, enough to be noticed.

Her roommate Céline walked in, saw the dress and shoes. Her face fell and she looked bitter.

« _You're so lucky to go to a ball ! And in Naples of all cities !_ »

« _I'm sorry you haven't been invited._ »

« _Mechanics NCOs are never invited anywhere._ »

« _I'll throw a ball for your birthday if you want._ »

« _Nah, I'll get drunk and fall on my face, that wouldn't be elegant._ »

They laughed. Nell was really excited to go to the ball. She loved formal occasions. Dancing, gourmet food, champagne, what's not to like !

« _Oh, and don't forget about being a Girl Scout !_ »

« _What do you mean ?_ »

« _Always be prepared !_ » And Céline handed Nell a box of condoms.

« _A whole box ? Aren't you a little optimistic ?_ »

« _You have a two-day leave, you might as well enjoy them with someone !_ »

Nell shook her head, but took the box anyway and put it in her party bag. Céline smiled and shook her own box. « _You never know what may happen !_ »

Chapter 2

Friday June 15 1990

Naples

The delegations from all the nations involved in the latest NATO war games arrived one by one, and Harm couldn't wait for the French to show up. He had finally got the name of the pilot who had shot him down : a lieutenant with the callsign Dragon. He spotted them entering the ballroom, a bunch of guys in Dress Blues, with a few women in party dresses thrown in. They went to the presentation rounds and made their way towards the buffet. A redhead in a green dress was looking a little stiff. She was speaking in rapid French to a blond-haired man standing next to her.

« _I warn you, Benjamin, if you touch my six once more, I will break your nose, and I say you hit a door. And you know everyone in here will back me up. So quit it, now !_ »

The guy looked miffed. He took a glass of champagne and downed it like it was water. A mate took him aside.

Harm signaled his fellow pilots and they headed for the French delegation.

« Who's Dragon ? »

He crossed his arms and looked at all the French men, staring at them in the eyes.

« Who wants to know ? » The French accent was thick but the tone was unmistakable. All the men were looking at each other menacingly and the tension was growing by the second. The redhead with a green dress stepped forward.

« Gentlemen, calm down. Why do you want to know who Dragon is ? »

The redhead was very pretty, with clear green eyes. Her English was flawless. Harm smiled.

« Sorry, Ma'am. This doesn't concern you. »

The redhead smiled back.

« Why do you assume this doesn't concern me ? »

« It's a pilot thing, Ma'am. »

« Then let me introduce myself. I'm Lieutenant Nell Marchand. First female pilot in the French Air Force. »

The French men moved to stand around her. Harm didn't back down, but he was impressed.

« Congratulations. Then maybe you know who Dragon is. »

« I do. » Nell's smile grew wider. She dropped her gaze to Harm's gold wings.

« Which one are you ? Harm or Swan ?»

«Harm. What is it going to take for you to tell me who Dragon is ? »

Harm couldn't help but notice that all the French men around Nell were smiling mockingly. He suspected something was going on he didn't understand, but he was feeling the presence of all his friends at his back. Nothing to fear.

Nell took him by the arm. « Let's dance. » She lead him on the dancing floor where the orchestra was playing some slow music. Harm took Nell's hand in his, slipped his arm around her waist and she put her other hand on his nape. They smiled at each other. Harm liked the feel of her against him. And from the way she was reacting, it looked like she was enjoying the feeling as well. Since he had the next forty hours free, they might enjoy some private... dancing as well.

« So, are you going to tell me who Dragon is ? »

Nell smiled, pulled his head towards her and murmured in his ear. « I am. »

Harm couldn't help but look astonished. There was only one female fighter pilot in the US Navy, and she was not nearly as good as Nell.

« You are ? You're good for an Air Force pilot ! »

Nell threw her head back with a quick laugh. « I'm the best there is ! But you're not bad yourself, for a squid ! »

Harm laughed in turn. They looked at each other, smiling. A few seconds later, looking over her shoulder, Harm saw the blond-haired Frenchie coming towards them. Nell turned her head just in time, to see Benjamin grabbing her hand and pulling her away from Harm.

Nell's face turned white with fury. She tore her hand away from his grip.

« _You leave me alone_. »

« _He's the enemy, why do you dance with him ?_ »

The same friend who took him apart earlier came back and once gains lead him away from Harm and Nell.

« _Gecko, you keep him away from me. This is his last warning. If we weren't in a ballroom, he'd be bloody by now._ »

Nell was having trouble calming down. Harm stayed by her side, watchful.

« Is there a garden somewhere ? I need some fresh air. »

Harm lead her away through the French doors. « This way. »

A flight of stairs and they arrived in the garden, small but serene. Harm put his cap back on his head. The evening was young yet, and very few people were outside. Under the light of the setting sun, Nell looked more feminine and more fragile than she did in the ballroom. They walked down the path between bushes and trees. Harm took a cigar out of his pocket.

« Do you mind ? »

Nell shook her head. Harm lit a match and took a puff.

« Sorry about the scene. Ben is a good pilot, but he doesn't understand what no means. »

« Have you told your CO ? »

« He's been reprimanded once already. But it wasn't enough, obviously. »

« I've seen him harass you twice already in the last hour. I can testify if you need. »

« Hopefully, that won't be necessary. I'm counting on Gecko to keep him in line. » She shivered slightly. Harm stopped, took his jacket off and put it on her shoulders.

« Thank you, that's nice. » Nell tilted her head towards the collar and took a whiff. She smiled and looked at Harm.

He smiled back, intrigued. « What ? »

« You smell like sin. » She looked away with an engaging smile, started walking again and Harm suddenly felt quite hot, and a little tight in his formal attire.

Nell was a few feet in front of him when he started thinking again and he had to hurry to keep up with her.

« So, Harm is it ? Like, hurt, pain ? »

« No, it's short for Harmon. I'm Harmon Rabb. »

« Well, it is very nice to meet you, Harmon Rabb. There's a lucky girl somewhere, waiting for you to come home. »

Harm smiled. Nice way for Nell to test the waters. He liked that about her, that she was wondering about a possible girlfriend and not taking him for granted.

« Actually, there's not. »

Nell had a pause in her stride, and again an engaging smile.

« American girls must be blind. »

Harm also smiled. « And is there a lucky man waiting for you ? »

« No. I wouldn't be taking a stroll with you in the setting sun if there was. »

They were back to where they had started their walk. Harm threw the butt of his cigar in a can. They stopped at the bottom of the stairs and he turned to face Nell.

« Do you have to be somewhere tonight ? »

Nell licked her lips seductively and smiled. « I have to be at the airport Sunday at noon. That leaves me about forty-one hours of freedom. »

Harm put his cover under his arm, and his hands on her waist. He bent slowly towards her. Nell was about to put her hand on Harm's cheek and kiss him when he was violently pushed, and fell into the bushes. Benjamin turned to Nell and raised his hand to slap her. Nell had a swift movement of the arm, her wrist connected with his face and Ben landed on the stairs with a howl. When his head came up, his nose was pouring blood. Nell's face was like stone.

« _You broke my nose, you bitch !_ »

« _It's not what I saw. You tripped and you fell face first on the stairs. Get up and the stairs will break your collarbone as well._ » Ben didn't try to move.

Harm stood up, brushing his pants. He evaluated the situation with one glance.

« Let's go talk to your CO. »

At that moment, a French Colonel arrived at the top of the stairs. He too assessed the situation with a quick look. He turned to Nell.

« _What happened, Lieutenant ?_ »

« _Lieutenant Maloisel tripped on the stairs and broke his nose, Mon Colonel._ »

Gecko stepped out from behind Nell.

« _I can testify to that, Mon Colonel._ »

The French Colonel remained silent for a second and turned to Harm.

« Have you seen what happened, Lieutenant ? »

Harm looked at Nell, and then at the Colonel.

« No, Sir. He pushed me out of the way and I fell. When I got up, the lieutenant was already down. »

« _Lieutenant Lizard, take Lieutenant Maloisel to the hospital to fix his nose. Come back to the hotel when it's done and send me a message._ »

« _Yes, Mon Colonel._ »

With one last look to Nell, the Colonel turned to enter the ballroom. Gecko took Ben with him and they left as well.

Harm and Nell remained behind, at the bottom of the stairs. Nell was still looking furious.

« You should have reported him. »

« And they would have let him go with a letter of reprimand, and ask me to not make a fuss about so little. I went to a military high school and believe me, I've handled guys like Ben before. They only understand brute force. Why do you think I practice karate ? »

Harm looked at her with a new respect.

« What do you want to do now ? »

« I need to unwind. The beach is not very far. Let me take my purse and let's get a cab. »

Before entering the ballroom, she gave Harm his jacket back and he put it on. While doing so, he did as Nell had, and took a whiff at his collar. It didn't smell like his fragrance anymore, but like hers, something flowery and sweet that stirred his heart.

Chapter 3

By chance, the taxi driver was speaking a little English and drove them to a little beach to the west of Naples. There was a little restaurant in a corner, and they shared a platter of seafood while the warm breeze danced around them. Harm asked Nell about how she was able to shoot both him and his wingman, and she explained in details and gestures how she did. They compared notes on their respective aircrafts, share stories. And as time passed, Harm was feeling more and more attracted to her. Not just her body, but her mind as well. She was smart, daring, and as enthusiastic as he was about flying. He was listening to her with a smile that wouldn't fade.

They left the restaurant not by the main entrance, but by jumping the low wall that separated them from the beach. The owner shouted a few words to them in Italian, but they laughed and waved at him. They thought they heard him say « Americani ! » with an air of disgust but it was lost in the sound of the sea. Nell took her sandals off and let a happy sigh. « These shoes do the trick, but they're hell on the feet ! »

They crossed the little stream that ran to the sea and found themselves on another beach. This one didn't have any restaurant or house. Nell took a look around her. There was no one on sight, and it wasn't lit very well. She dropped her shoes, her purse and her wrap in the sand and turned her back to Harm.

« Can you help with my zipper ? »

Harm turned around in turn. « Are you sure you want to do that here ? »

« Come on, I want to get a midnight bath, and I can't do it with my dress on ! »

He had never believed reputations or unsubstantiated rumors, but he had heard them, and French girls... well... This one was everything they talked about. Wild and free. Harm slowly pulled her zipper down. Her skin was pearly white up to the small of her back where a dragon was wrapping its multicolored coils. Deeply aroused by the sight, he stopped breathing when she ditched her dress and stood with just her panties on. She took a run at the sea and dived right in. She surfaced a second later, with only her head showing. « Come on, the water's fantastic ! » And she dived again. Harm threw his cover on the sand, undressed as fast as he could and ran after her. She was right, the water was perfect. He dunked and let the warm Mediterranean sea engulf him. He let it rock him for a moment, until his lungs started to burn, and emerged again.

They played in the waves for a while, brushing against each other, seducing and being seduced. Nell was standing still, nearly out of breath, when Harm surfaced very near to her. He appeared much taller than her, since she didn't have her shoes on, and she had to bend her head backwards to look at him. He flexed his knees and embraced her. Nell threw her arms against his neck and put her mouth on his. Their kiss was deep and ravenous. Their tongues intertwined hungrily while their hands roamed over each other's bodies. Nell wrapped her legs around Harm's waist and felt that he was hard with desire. She smiled against his mouth and bit his lower lip. He let a cry of surprise and kissed her harder. She had a small laugh and rested her forehead against his. He carried her back to the beach, walking on his knees until they reached the shore. He laid her down on the sand, their bodies still in the water.

She reached for him and kissed him again passionately. He left her lips to trail down her neck, licking and biting softly. She had a taste of woman and salt. She moaned softly and stroked his hair.

He was about to descend to her breasts when a flashlight blinded them.

« Questo non è il posto giusto per ripetere 'Da qui all'eternità' ! »

Nell quickly folded her arms over her breasts while Harm was trying to shield her from view. Two Italian police officers were standing in front of them, barely concealing a laugh.

« Sorry, we thought we were alone. »

« Americani ! Go to a hotel, this is not a bed. »

« Sorry, Sir. »

« If you are... fretta, hotel Mare Blu in the road, there. Avanti ! »

The policemen watched them get up and left them while they put their clothes back on. One of them turned and pointed to his left. « Albergo, hotel. »

Nell waved, clutching her dress to her chest while Harm was trying to fasten it. « Grazie mille. »

Once they were alone again, they looked at each other and burst out laughing. They were wet, covered with sand, and half-dressed. Harm put his cover back on and stepped closer to Nell. He took her face in his hands and kissed her like it was the most important thing in the world. Nell felt the warmth of it to the tip of her toes.

Harm drew back a little. « You're shorter. » Nell laughed again and showed him her sandals. « Four inches heels. » Harm laughed too and hugged her.

« I'm lodged at the base, I can't take you there. Can we go to your hotel ? ? »

« Oh, Harm ! I share my room ! »

With a smile, they both turn to the end of the street.

When they step on the pavement, Harm put his shoes back on but Nell didn't. He looked at her curiously. « Oh no, I'm not slipping those back on ! I'd rather go barefoot than walk with those again ! »

His smile spreads wide. « Then I'll have to carry you ! » And reaching down, he slid his arm under her knees and back and lifted her. Nell took his cover and put it on her head. « Two movies in a row, you impress me, lieutenant ! »

Nell let Harm carry her for a few meters, put his cap back on his head and dropped on the pavement.

« Nell ! You're gonna hurt your feet ! »

« The hotel is just there, I can walk, don't worry ! »

She took his hand and looked at him. His cover was askew on his damp hair, his jacket was half-buttoned and opened at the collar, and his pants were sticking to his legs and covered in sand. She glanced at herself and noticed she was pretty much in the same state of disarray. The reception desk at the hotel was going to look at them the same way the policemen had ! Just before entering, they tried to put some order to their outfits, without much hope.

The night clerk was half asleep when they entered.

« Buona notte ! Vuoi une stanza ? »

« Good evening. »

« Oh, americani. Do you want a room ? »

« Yes, please. »

« That will be one hundred and fourteen american dollar. »

Harm looked stunned. « What ? »

« Permesso, Signore. » Nell pointed at the sign hanging on the wall. « The price range for your rooms go from twenty thousand to fifty-five thousand lire. With the current change for an American dollar being one thousand and fifty lire, that makes your best room at... hum... less than fifty dollars. »

Harm crossed his arms and tried his best intimidating look. The clerk swallowed nervously.

« I am sorry, I thought you wanted two rooms. »

Harm took his wallet out and handed out a fifty note. « No, just the one. »

« Si, signore. » He takes a key in the rack behind him. « Our best room. Numero trentuno, terzo piano, third floor. Breakfast is from seven to ten and you have to leave by eleven. »

Harm took another fifty note. « We'll take it for two nights. »

« Of course, signore ! Do you have luggage ? »

Harm and Nell looked at each other with a smile. « We'll get them later. »

Chapter 4

Harm got up to open the window. The night was warm enough and they were facing the sea. He turned on the light on the nightstand and stretched out near Nell who was lying on her stomach with her eyes closed. He pulled down the sheet that was covering her back until he saw the dragon. It was sprawled against her pale skin, blue and red and gold, looking fierce. Harm brushed his fingers on the tattoo, tracing the coils. He'd never seen such a beautiful work of art. Nell sighed.

« Did the callsign bring the dragon, or was it the other way around ? »

Nell turned her head to face Harm and rested her cheek on her hand.

« I told you I was in a military high school ? »

« Yeah. »

« It was the hardest time of my life. There are very few women there, and the guys try to weed us out. Either they harass us, treat us like dirt, make us do all the chores, or they just ignore us, pretend not to see us. I was a bit apart because my dad's a Colonel in the Army, but it was so hard. »

« He is ? »

« Yeah, he's CO of the Train and Logistics School. »

« Cool. He must be proud of you. My father and my grandfather were aviators too. »

« I'm fourth generation. My great grandfather was a military vet and my grandfather was also in the Train and Logistics. Anyway. I turned eighteen in April, and the day I graduated I went to the tattoo parlor. I wanted something to remember I'm stronger than anything anyone can throw at me. »

« It's beautiful. And how did you get the callsign ? Someone saw you in a bathing suit ? »

« I wish ! » Nell paused, lost in her memories. « Different school, same treatment. When I entered flight school, I was one of the very first females to attend. I got all kind of hazing, practical jokes, you name it. Since it was common occurrence since I was fifteen, I played duck. You know, water on my feathers. One day, we were coming back from a training session that had been particularly hard. I was exhausted, sweaty and cold, I just wanted a hot shower and a meal. »

« Yeah, I know the feeling. » They looked knowingly at each other.

« At the time, there was only one locker room for everyone. So I usually took my clothes with me in the shower, put everything on a chair, and I was alone enough. Six years of coed dorms, I was used to the lack of privacy. But this time, I turned to get in the shower and there was no more curtains, on any of the stalls. »

Harm looked appalled. « They didn't ! »

« Oh, they did. I was so tired I just walked in, put my clothes on the chair and undressed. I just made sure to keep my back to them, so they wouldn't get a full frontal. And I walked under the spray. After a minute, I felt a presence behind me, the guys had gathered to watch me take my shower. So I told them I had nothing they hadn't already seen, and asked them not to bother me anymore. There was movement again, and the light changed. I turned my head a little, and I saw the curtain was back in place. » Nell falls silent again.

« I'm sorry you had to live through all this. »

« It made me stronger. When I got out of the shower, I was alone. I got back to my room and headed to the mess hall. Business as usual. I got my tray, sat down alone at a table. »

Nell turned in the bed, looked at the ceiling and smiled.

« The guys came up to me, snapped to. I got up, a bit uncertain about what was happening. And they presented me with my newly painted helmet. They never called me Nell again, I was always Dragon from that moment on. »

« Nice ! »

Nell snickered. « The only nice thing about it is they never played any pranks on a female aviator ever again. »

Harm traced the little tattoo she had on her breast. « And that one ? »

« It's the shadow of sparrowhawk. The emblem for aviators in France. We all got one when we graduated. »

« And why did you get it on your...chest ? »

Nell has a small laugh. « It's not on my chest, it's on my heart. »

With a smile, Harm bent over and kissed the tattoo. « I like it. »

« You like where it is. »

He smiled against her skin, and heard her yawn. He settled beside her, put his hand on her belly and closed his eyes. They both fell asleep with a smile on their faces.

When he entered the bathroom later that morning, Harm shook his head with a smile. He didn't know how they could have showered together in the small tub, much less have a bit of a snuggle. But the spray was still hot and plentiful.

In the bedroom, Nell was examining her dress. It was stained, crumpled, no way she could wear it to go back to her hotel. She took a look at Harm's uniform and sighed at the sight. She put on his t-shirt and wondered how to get some clean clothes. She unhooked the telephone.

« Ricezione ! »

« Hello, this is room thirty-one. »

« Si, the americans. What can I do for you ? »

« I have two questions. First, how can I make a call outside the hotel ? »

« You dial zero, and then the number that you want to call. »

« All right. Do you have a phone book I could look into ? »

« What number do you need ? »

« The Hotel Joyfull, in Poggioreale. »

« You stay on the line, I will call them and connect you. Do you want to call the reception desk or a room ? »

« I need to call room fourteen. »

« Perfetto. And what is your second question ? »

« Do you do room service ? We'd like to have two breakfasts delivered, if it's possible. »

« Si, I can arrange that, but there is a... supplemento. »

« All right. »

« What do you want for breakfast ? »

« Whatever you have, with a big pot of black coffee and extra cups, please. »

« No problem. Is that all ? »

« Yes, thank you. »

« I'll make the call now, please hold. »

After a minute or so, a sleepy voice answered.

«_ What _? »

« _Virginie ? It's Nell, sorry to wake you up._ »

« _Nell ? Where are you ? I saw you get in the garden with the American, and then I lost you ! Everything's all right ?_ »

« _I hope you didn't look for me too long._ »

« _No. You know Ben is in the hospital ?_ »

Nell's tone froze. « _Yes, I know. He fell down the stairs and broke his nose._ »

Virginie stayed silent.

«_ Tell me, did you have plans for today ?_ »

« _I wasn't planning to be awoken at nine freaking thirty. Seriously, Nell !_ »

« _I'm sorry, I didn't look at the time. What do you say about spending the day at the beach ? I'll pay for the taxi and I'll invite you for lunch, what do you say ? _»

« _Yeah. What's the catch ?_ »

« _Ah..._ »

« _And where the hell are you ?_ »

« _I found a little hotel to spend the night. Long story... anyway, I need my pack._ »

« _What do you mean, you need your pack ?_ »

« _Well... I don't have anything to wear beside my party dress which is in no condition to be worn._ »

Virginie sneered. « _You had a crazy night, didn't you ?_ »

« _I had an... opportunity, and I seized it._ »

« _I see... six three, brown hair and a thousand watts smile._ »

Nell had a wide grin. « And _Dress Whites and Gold wings._ »

_« Do I bring you just a change of clothes, or your whole pack ?_ »

« _The whole pack, you're gonna be alone tonight as well._ »

« _No kidding... give me the address._ »

« _Hotel Mare Blu, in Bagnoli. It's on the waterfront. Take your bathing suit._ »

« _Your hotel has a private beach ?_ »

« _No, but there's a strip of sand a few hundred meters from there. And the water is delicious ! _»

« _All right. Give me time to get up and come. You better have some fresh coffee when I arrive !_ »

« _I will. And it's good coffee._ »

« _How do you know ? You don't drink coffee._ »

« _My six three brown hair opportunity seems to like it fine._ »

Virginie hung up with a shake of her head. During their conversation, Harm had finished showering and opened the door for the waiter carrying the breakfast tray. Nell sat down and helped herself with some tea.

« I got in touch with my roommate, and she's bringing my pack over. I'll be able to give you back your shirt. »

« I like the way you wear it. »

Nell has a flirtacious smile. And told him how the desk manager had helped her. She tasted the tea, jerked when she burnt her tongue and started on her cornetto. Harm took the receiver and called the clerk.

Once they had finished their meal, Harm and Nell sprawled on the bed and spent a quiet time talking, cuddling, and just enjoying the moment.

Nell jumped at the knock on the door and let Virginie in.

« _Thank you so much for coming !_ »

Virginie dropped Nell's bag on the floor. « _You owe me one hundred and twenty seven francs. Is that coffee I smell ?_ »

Harm was wearing only a towel around his hips, and he made sure it was secure before getting out of the bed.

« Virginie, this is Harm, Harm, this is Virginie. »

Harm handed her a freshly poured cup of coffee.

« Hi ! »

« No talking before coffee. » Virginie sat down and sipped her brown dose of revival with her eyes closed.

Nell grabbed some clothes from her bag and left for the bathroom. « Be right back ! »

Harm didn't move, or talk. He thought he was stuck with the brunette who looked like she was having a coffee-induced orgasm. She opened her eyes and looked at him.

« So, you're Harm. You don't hold a grudge, do you ? »

« Why should I ? »

« Because she shot you down. »

Harm had a smile. « It was a game. »

Virginie's smile was even wider. « Still. »

« I don't see the point in holding grudges. It holds you back. »

« I suppose you're right. » She took another sip of coffee, watching Harm suspiciously.

Nell stepped out of the bathroom, wearing a sundress over a bathing suit. « _You're alive again ?_ »

«_ Barely_. »

« _Let's go for a swim._ Harm, you'll join us a the beach when your pack arrives ? »

« Sure ! »

Nell pecked Harm on the lips, took a towel and left with Virginie.

Chapter 5

Nell and Virginie were sitting on their towels in their bikinis when Harm arrived with his shipmates. They were talking and laughing and Harm thought Nell had a happy nature, despite the harshness of her life.

Swan whistled softly. « Nice ink ! »

Nell turned back and smiled to him. « Thanks ! I like yours too. I get why you got your callsign. » On his right pectoral, he had a beautiful rendering of a pelican nourishing his young from its flesh, that unfortunatly looked a bit like a swan.

« It's not a swan ! »

« I know. I did a bit of heraldry. It's the symbol for paternal love. »

Swan was taken aback, as were the others. « You know that ? »

« I know a lot of things about a lot of things. »

Wedge sat down at Virginie's side, while Loki tried to cham Nell. The three others dropped their gear and ran to the water.

« So... what else do you know ? » He was clearly in flirting mode, and Harm wasn't having it.

He pulled Nell's hand to get her up and lead her to the sea. When they were waist deep, he pushed her slightly, making her loose her footing and sink with a shriek. He dived after her and they emerged with a laugh.

The five men and the two women spent a long time playing in the waves. When hunger became too much, they went to the little restaurant in the corner. The afternoon was spent much as the morning had been, between water games and rests on the sand. The mood was light, the atmosphere pleasant.

When the sun started to descend on the sea, they went back to the beach. Harm sat down on a towel, and Nell settled between his legs, her head resting on his chest. It was the first time they had displayed any kind of intimacy since the morning, but time was running short, and Nell wanted to enjoy their last hours together. They talked about what they wanted to do that evening, and settled for dinner and beer at an Irish pub situated half-way between them and their accomodations. Virginie and the Americans took cabs to go back to the city, while Harm and Nell stayed behind.

Alone at last, still sitting together, they watched the sea for a moment. They sun wouldn't set for a long time, and they couldn't stay until it did, but they could relax and savor the moment. Harm put a kiss on Nell's temple and murmured a few words in her ear. That brought a large smile on her face and she looked bewitchingly at Harm. They grabbed their belongings and walked quickly to the hotel.

The sky was greying in the west when Harm woke up the following morning. He turned to go back to sleep, but felt an empty space beside him. At the same moment, he caught a movement near the door. Nell was facing away from him, practicing her kata in her pyjamas. She was very focused, every movement very precise, her breathing even.

He just laid there, watching her. He was fascinated by the way she moved, she had to have practiced the kata a thousand times or more.

« Hello Harm. »

She surprised him by greeting him without looking at him, and without skipping a beat.

« Hey. How did you know I was awake ? »

An inspiration. « Your breathing changed. » A kick. An expiration. « Did I wake you ? »

« The bed is cold. »

« Sorry. I'm almost finished. »

A few more movements, a final bow, and Nell turned to Harm with a smile. « Let's warm up this bed. » She knelt on the bed and advanced towards Harm. He put his hand out to her, hooked it behind her head and put his lips on hers. Nell melted against him, snuggling in his arms.

« We haven't emptied the box. »

Nell smiled. « We can keep the rest for next time. Naples is not very far from France and I don't have a deployment scheduled yet. »

Harm grazed her mouth with his. « I'd like that. » He rolled over her and proceeded to make love to her one last time.

A few hours later, they left the hotel, both dressed in their uniforms. They didn't smile. Inside the cab, Nell put her head on Harm's shoulder, she looked a bit sad. Harm inclined his head and took her lips. They shared a long and tender kiss that the driver had to interrupt when they arrived at the airport. Time was up.

Harm exited the cab, closed the door and Nell scooted over. She leaned through the open window for one last look at her lover. Harm smiled warmly at her. It took her a second or two, but she ended up smiling as well. She was a little blue to break up like that, but they would get in touch. Harm bent down and they kissed one last time.

« So long, Sailor ! »

« Bye, Dragon ! »

And as the taxi took Nell to her destination, Harm watched her go with a pensive air, wondering what the future would bring them.

Chapter 6

September 1990

Dear Harm,

I was so happy to hear your voice in my helmet this morning. I'm stationned in Saudi Arabia, with no hope of joining Naple anytime soon, so that was good.

I'm not seeing combat, I'm strictly on recon and patrol, but I get to fly almost everyday. And I got promoted to Captain, which means you still outrank me... Sir !

How are you guys doing ? Virginie kept talking about Loki, it seems they had a nice time in Naples (which he proably talked to you about in details...). I heard him call her « Ginny » several times, and after talking to my squadron, we decided to make it her callsign. At first she wasn't sure she liked it, but now she doesn't want to be called anything else !

The heat is unbearable here, I hope you have AC on your carrier !

I can't wait to hear from you !

Fly high !

Nell

October 1990

Dear Nell,

Congratulations on your promotion !

The heat is unbearable here too, but at least we have the AC inside and the sea winds to cool us down a bit.

From what I've heard, Loki hasn't been in touch with « Ginny », but yes, he told us about Naples. Tell her congrats too !

It was nice to hear your voice too, I enjoyed flying with you mostly because you didn't try to shoot me down this time !

Take care of the Dragon !

Harm

December 1990

Dear Harm,

The problem with flying with you is I can't tell you personnal stuff, since everything is recorded.

Ben is finally out. He graduated from harassement to attempted rape last month and got sent to jail. I'm breathing easier ! The Colonel said nothing about all this, but I know he feels responsible, as he should. I'm sorry for the girl he attacked, so I started a karate class on the base. It's for women only, and it gives me a sense of purpose (and something to do between training and missions). I have five pupils, Ginny is one of them.

And as for trying to shoot you, if I remember correctly, YOU were the one trying to shoot me down after you had Gecko !

A happy new year in advance !

Fly high !

Nell

January 1991

Dear Nell,

I heard a french pilot crashed in December, and I got scared it was you, until I got your letter. I'm glad you're okay ! I'm also very sorry for your squadron. Losing a man is always hard, I know.

Just wanted you to know I'm all right. I went to Naples for three days between Christmas and New Year, and thought about you.

Happy new year !

Harm

February 1991

Dear Harm,

Your turn to scare me ! I had a mission scheduled with you today, and Swan explained to me what happened. I'm so sorry about Wedge. But I can't belive it was pilot error, that you screwed the pooch. I've flown enough with you to know you're an excellent pilot. I hope the guys in your squadron don't turn their backs on you, that would be so unfair !

Swan told me you didn't get hurt, that's a relief. I hope you're back in the air as soon as possible, once you're cleared. I'll be waiting to hear your voice in my helmet again !

Take care of my Flyboy !

Nell

February 1991

Dear Nell,

I'm grounded. Definitly. The doctors diagnosed me with night blindness, which led me to miss the ball and hit the deck. I killed a teammate, so the squadron was relieved, if not happy, to see me go.

But I hate it. I hate being back on the ground. I hate that I can't fly again. I can tell you that because I know you'd understand. I miss flying like I miss breathing. It's like they cut my arm or my leg. I have no idea what to do now with my life. And I feel like I've let my father and grandfather down. They went down flying. And I have bad eyes.

I'm so jealous that you still fly. Take me with you up there, be my eyes and ears. Tell me all about how the skies are. Here in Norfolk it's dull and grey and cold. I miss the sun at twelve thousand feet.

Take care of my Dragon

Harm

PS : I don't need my wings anymore, you might as well have them.

March 1991

Dear Harm,

My heart aches for you. I can't imagine what you're going through. I carry your wings on every mission I fly, so you are up there with me.

I've been back in France for a couple of months now, but I have a deployment coming up, I'm going to Djibouti. Any chance of seeing you there ? Any idea of what you'll be doing next ?

You know you can talk to me.

Your friend,

Nell

March 1991

Dear Nell,

I'm at my grandmother's farm at the moment. I'm staying in my childhood room, and it brings back a lot of memories. My collection of model airplanes is displayed on the walls. It's a reminder I can't fly anymore, and it breaks my heart, but at the same time I have happy memories of making them.

So yesterday, I took out the family Stearman, Sarah (named after my Gran). My grandfather bought it before the war, but he was shot down in '43 and never fixed it. My dad worked on it a bit, with the intention of restoring it with me, but he went MIA in '69, so it didn't happen either. I started to take on the repairs when I was in high school, after I went to Vietnam to try to find him, and now it's in perfect condition.

A few years back, I brought it to an airfield not far and it's always available. At first, I didn't want to take her out this morning. But the sky was so clear, and the winds so perfect I couldn't resist.

I'll never fly jets again, I'm slowly coming to terms with that, but I can still enjoy going up in Sarah. I never thought I could. Thank you for your encouragements, and your friendship.

I've talked with someone from the career bureau, I'm thinking law, JAG. Not sure about it yet, but with my night vision impaired, I can't pilot a ship either. I'll think about it some more, let you know.

Fly high !

Harm

April 1991

Dear Harm,

I hope the letters we exchange are not too painful for you. I'm still flying and I know how much you miss it. Tell me if it is, I'd be sad to stop writing to you, but I'd do it for you.

I'm glad you're finding a way to trim your sails. Lawyer for the Navy should be interesting. We don't have those in France, military people are judged by civilian courts.

I'm still in Djibouti, and it's getting hotter by the day ! Four months to go, it's going to be a long summer !

Take care of my sailor !

Nell

April 1991

Dear Nell,

Please keep writing ! I miss the sky but I love hearing from you. What is there to do in Djibouti when you're on the ground ? Do you still teach karate ?

I moved to Washington to attend Law School in Georgetown. I got a spring admission, so I'm already taking classes. I think it's the best career path for me, and who knows, I might even enjoy it one day ! For the moment, I spend my nights buried in books. Reminds me of my Academy years !

Fly High !

Harm


	2. Chapter 7-10

Chapter 7

[Harm and Nell kept in touch through the years, him through Law School, Navy Justice School and finally JAG, Nell through all the engagements France participated in, Djibouti, Bosnia.

We find them again in July 1995, at the opening of the series.]

July 1995

Dear Nell,

I had the most intense experience in a long time, and I have to tell you, because I know you'll understand.

I was investigating the disappearance of a RIO on the Seahawk, my carrier from back when. Going there was hard, so much memories, good mostly, the smells, the sounds, the atmosphere of impatience and hurry, and some very bad, of the night I crashed. It was both heart-wrenching and exhilarating.

The CAG (Commander Air Group) was my dad's wingman the day he went down. He's a hell of a pilot, but very tough. He has to be to keep his crew alive and flying. Kept pushing at me. I think from a talk we had he felt guilty leaving my dad behind when he was shot down. I told him it wasn't his fault, but you always feel responsible when you fail to save a teammate. I also think he resented me for not being my dad, like it should have been him, standing there, not me.

Wedge's brother was here too, he's a pilot now, nicknamed Mace. I wasn't surprised by his less-than-warm welcome. But that hurt nontheless.

Long story short, the CAG took me up in a Tomcat modified for recon and training, meaning there were a full set of controls in the back, instead of all the navigation equipment. I wasn't supposed to touch anything, of course. We went for a recon flyby, before an Alpha Strike, you probably heard about it since you're flying there too. One the way back, the Serbs were waiting for us. They hit us and the CAG got wounded. I had to take control of the plane... I hadn't held a joystick for five years and this baby was handling like a jackhammer.

Dragon, I think that was the scariest moment in my life. Training and old habits kicked in, and with the help of the CAG's wingman Lobo I was able to trap and catch the wire but I think I stopped breathing for a full five minutes. The longest five minutes of my life.

Oh, and did I mentioned night had fallen ? I couldn't see the deck, I had to rely on what they were telling me. I hope I never have to do that again ! And I never thought I'd say that some day...

When we left the carrier, Mace and the others were waiting for me near the COD. He put wings back on my uniform, Nell. I've never been so touched. I don't know if he forgave me for the death of his brother, but it was like a thank you for bringing the CAG back on board.

When I got back to Washington, I went to the Admiral and got permission to keep up with my quals and get my flying status back. You can imagine what it felt like. In a few weeks, I'll be flying again. Not on a daily basis, but enough to see the sun in the middle of winter.

I know you get it, Nell.

Fly high... always !

Harm

Dear Harm,

If you were right here, I'd give you the biggest hug. Because I do get it. I haven't stopped flying, but I can imagine what it would be to not fly. I'm so happy for you !

Fly high... again !

Nell

September 1995

Dear Nell,

I don't like submarines. I had to spend a few days inside one and I kept banging my head on the bulkheads. My six feet three are not made for such small spaces. And I had a new partner, Meg, who is claustrophobic.

I can't tell you more about our assignment, confidentiality clause, but that was not fun. I started breathing again only when we surfaced and I was allowed to get outside.

I don't know how bubbleheads do it ! I guess it takes all kinds !

Just fly !

Harm

October 1995

Dear Nell,

When I decided to become a JAG lawyer, I never expected I'd see more action than when I was a fighter pilot. And I certainly did not expect to be shot at, drugged or almost murdered.

I got mixed up in the Thai's ambassador personnal business because his wife... she reminded me of a girl I knew when I went to Vietnam to look for my dad. Gym got killed because she befriended me and I couldn't help but see her in Angelique. And in return she tried to kill me. I got lost in my memories and almost died.

The past has an uncanny way to come back when you least expect it.

I hope everything is all right with you. Where are you now ?

Take care of the Dragon !

Harm

Dear Harm,

Like the past few years, I'm in Bosnia again. Operation Deny Flight is still in motion, and we take part in it, as US pilots do. I flew a mission with Lts Entwhistle and Painter the other day. Do you know them ? Any advice ?

I miss you in the air !

So long, Sailor !

Nell

November 1995

Dear Nell,

I lost a friend, two days ago. A fellow pilot. Luke was my roommate at the Academy and in Flight School and we had stayed good friends. I even was his best man at his wedding. Everyone said it was his fault he crashed, but when you fly with someone, you get to know them. And I was right. He didn't screw the pooch. I got to clear his name. But I miss him, Nell. I miss my friend.

He leaves behind a widow and a six-years old son, Josh. And I remembered the day my father went missing. I was about Josh's age, I recall the two officers showing at the door, my mother's cry.

Why does everything lately come back to my dad ? I know one day I will find out what happened to him. Until then, I have my memories.

And I know Painter, we met on the Seahawk when I was there in July. He's a good guy !

Take care of my Dragon !

Harm

December 1995

Dear Nell,

It seems I'm sent only where there's action and flying bullets.

Last month we went to Peru to investigate a Marine who had killed a young boy. Turned out the Shining Path had organized the assassination of the Ambassador. It was a war zone and we lost good men.

Then, we went to Seattle to question a sailor who had stolen a missile. It lead to a brig break, Meg taken hostage, and the whole area almost being blown up by a bomb set up by a traitor wanting to sell stolen weapons to Irakis. With Navy Intelligence in the mix.

And last week in Irak, we were supposed to defend a Marine tried for espionage. In a mock trial, of course. I had some extraction combat training for plan B, which was to get the Marine out of of jail and bring him home.

To be frank, I don't really mind action. Reminds me of my carrier days. You know how it is. I just mind the « my life is in danger » part !

Merry Christmas and a very happy new year in advance

Fly high !

Harm

January 1996

Dear Harm,

A happy New Year to you too ! I'm back in France, at last ! Well, I can't say I miss Bosnia. But I miss the excitement of flying a mission, not just training. I have another six months in France before I'm deployed again, so I'll keep training until I'm back in OPEX (foreign deployment).

You lead a full life, I can give you that ! I thought Navy lawyers spent their time in courtrooms and offices, that doesn't seem to be the case with you ! I was in a war zone, and it was more peaceful than where you go !

Watch your six, sailor !

Nell

Dear Nell,

I wrote I didn't mind action, well, somebody heard me too well ! Everytime I step out of JAG HQ, I'm targeted ! We went looking for a little girl who had disappeared in an abandoned Navy base, and we stumbled upon a drug operation ! Seriously ?

I'll have my quals in a few days, can't wait to fly again !

Fly high !

Harm

February 1996

Dear Harm,

I've been deployed early in Djibouti again. The peace agreement signed two years ago wasn't enough for some of the rebels, so we're here to enforce it. I was able to take a week off last month, but I wasn't supposed to go further than five hundred kilometers from my base, so I had the choice between Ethiopia, Somalia, Yemen or Saudi Arabia... some choice ! Ethiopia has been relativly stable for a while now, so I did a treck in the Awash National Park. If you ever get a chance to go there, you should check it out, it's an amazing place !

Take care of my sailor !

Nell

March 1996

Dear Nell,

I'm sorry to tell you that Lt Entwhistle was shot down by the Serbs last week. He and Painter were able to eject, but he didn't make it. I was able to recover Painter who was unharmed. I know you flew with them, so I wanted to tell you.

Be careful up there, and watch your six.

Harm

Dear Harm,

Oh, I'm so sorry for his death. We got to fly a few times together, and I enjoyed it. Give my regards and condolences to his squadron if you get the chance.

But seriously ? Going to Bosnia to recover Painter, isn't that a SEAL's job ? Harm ! I know you like seeing action (and to be frank, recon and patrol can be quite boring so i know what you mean...) but it's not just « seeing action » ! It's jumping into action feet first !

Please take good care of my sailor !

Nell

April 1996

Dear Nell,

A lot has changed this past month. First I got promoted to Lieutenant Commander. It was earlier than expected, so I was a bit surprised.

Then Admiral Brovo is being replaced by Admiral Chegwidden, a former SEAL. That should prove interesting... His aid is a full Commander who keeps hitting on me. Engaging in a personnal relationship with her would only bring me trouble, so I'm trying to steer clear of her. Working together is going to be like playing chess : trying to figure out what your opponent is doing three moves in advance...

I got to fly to Cuba, and made a Learjet roll and loop... the Air Force at the helm couldn't believe it ! (the Cuban Mig pilots couldn't either...) I also did a HALO (High Altitude Low Opening) jump to find out why an Army General had a Naval Aviator killed, the Admiral figured if I can punch out, I can jump. Fun times...

And I had my annual flight check, meaning I can keep up with my quals and keep my flying status up and running. I love it !

Fly high ! (and roll, and loop!)

Harm

May 1996

Dear Harm,

Is it weird to tell you I'm dating ? I met Dominic a while back, on my first tour in Djibouti. He's a local teacher. I've participated in a program to help girls at his school learn how to defend themselves, and we became close this time around. He makes me laugh and wonder...

I don't know what the future holds, but I don't mind heading there.

I'm glad you can keep flying, even Learjets !

Fly high !

Nell

Dear Nell,

I haven't written in a long time because it took me a while to process what happened to me. I was supposed to go sailing with a friend in the Sea of China when I was captured and taken prisoner. You know the training we undergo to resist interrogations, you've been through it. But there's no way to be prepared to really experience prison and torture. They shot me up with drugs, asked me questions I didn't have the answer to, made me believe things...

Nell, I think my father was there too. I told you he went MIA in 1969, during the Vietnam war. They have trade agreements with China, and an American prisoner is very valuable. I never saw him, but I heard his voice. He told me things only he knew. And there was an engraving in a cell just below mine that only he could have done.

A Chinese defector told me I had been the only prisoner in this ward for quite some time, so I don't know what to believe anymore. I was so full of drugs it took me a whole week to be fit for duty.

Whatever the truth is, talking to him when I was in that ugly cell is what kept me sane. I have to find out what happened to him, Nell. I don't care how long it's going to take, but I will find out.

And if I can tell you anything, so can you. I'm happy you met someone.

Take care of my Dragon !

Harm

Dear Harm,

I can't begin to imagine what you've been through. Yes we prepare for enemy interrogation and torture, but I can't believe you know what it's like, until you KNOW what it's like. My heart weeps for you.

But why the hell would China want another American prisoner ? You're a lawyer, you're not Intelligence ! I hope your government did everything it could to get you back ! You don't leave a fellow officer behind !

As for your father... I have never lost someone the way you lost your dad, so I can't see it the way you do. But be careful what you wish for. You might find something you don't want to, God forbid.

I love that we can tell each other everything. It helps so much when times are difficult, and sharing the joy is contagious !

A big hug from me to you !

Take care of my sailor !

Nell


	3. Chapter 11-14

Chapter 11

September 1999

Dubrovnic, Croatia

Harm dropped off his pack in his hotel room, changed into civvies and went out to walk to his rendez-vous.

Nell did pretty much the same a few minutes later. When she arrived, Harm was sitting on the terrace of the café, reading a newspaper. She had a few seconds to watch him before he looked up and saw her. They both smiled. Harm got up and they shared a long hug.

« Nine years already ! »

« Time flies by ! »

Sitting down, they started talking while the waiter brought the menu. During the last nine years, they had only written letters and emails to each other, so they had a lot more to share, stories, anecdotes.

They had started eating when Harm looked intrigued by something that was happening behind Nell. She turned her head and like a movie in slow motion, saw the big black sedan, its window being opened and the muzzle appear in the opening. She heard Harm yell and dropped on the pavement under the table. Bullets began flying over her head, and she felt Harm close his arms around her. She had a fleeting thought that he would always be her knight in Dress Whites, even if he didn't have it on today.

The shooting lasted only a few seconds, but it felt like an eternity. Harm had been shot at before, and he knew what to do next.

He lifted his head above the table, saw the car drive away quickly. He turned around and looked at the bodies around him. Nell got out of hiding as well, opened her cell phone. A man was coming up to her, so she gave it to him.

« Call an ambulance and stay on the line. »

The man obviously understood what she was saying, and that was a relief.

Harm checked the pulse of a man sprawled a few feet away, and shook his head when Nell looked at him. He went to help a woman crying on her chair while Nell approached another man lying on the pavement. He had been shot through the abdomen and was losing a lot of blood. She took off her jacket and bent over him.

« Hi, my name is Nell. What is yours ? »

The man was still conscious. « Stan... »

« Hello Stan. Stay calm, I'm going to help you, okay ? »

She didn't know if he could understand her, but sometimes the right tone is enough to break the language barrier. She smiled and pressed her folded jacket on the wound. Stan had a hiccup.

« I know it hurts, but I have to slow the bleeding. » She turned to Harm, saw that he had put a makeshift bandage around the woman's arm.

« Harm ! I need your jacket ! »

He took it from his fallen chair.

« Help me. I'm going to pull him towards me, you put your vest under his back and I'm going to lie him down again on it. It should compress his wound from the back, so you fold it tight. One, two, three. »

Together they moved Stan who howled in pain.

« I'm sorry Stan. This is Harm, he's helping as well. »

She put her own jacket back on the injury on the belly.

« Harm, push down, please. »

Nell brought Stan's limbs forward and folded them over his chest, compressing the wound. She put her arm over his legs to keep them in place.

« You stay with me, Stan ! Don't you dare pass out ! »

Another man came close and started talking very fast.

« I'm sorry, I don't understand, but I'm sure he can. Talk to him, keep him alert. »

Harm, sensing the situation was under control, went to check on the other victims.

The ambulances arrived just a few minutes later, as well as a police car. The EMT loaded the victims in the vans, thanking Harm and Nell for their quick actions. The police officers took their statements, their numbers and let them go. They looked at each other and finally noticed the blood they were covered in.

Back at the hotel, they each went to their own room. It took Harm a few minutes to shower and change. He also took a moment to write down his recollection of what had happened, in case he had missed something the first time he told the police. He then tried to call Nell's room, but got no answer. Starting to worry, he left his room and knocked on her door.

« Nell ? » He turned the knob and entered. The sound of the water was covering his footsteps so he repeated louder. « NELL ? »

He went to the bathroom. Nell was sitting under the spray, knees up and arms wound tight around them, shaking uncontrollably. He turned the water off and threw a towel over her shoulders. Her eyes were open wide and staring out. Harm sat down near the stall and pulled Nell into his arms, making shushing sounds to calm her down. He rubbed the fabric over her arms and legs. After a minute, she started coming back, looking like she hadn't seen him come in. She peered into his eyes, locked her arms around his neck and attacked his mouth with hers.

Nell finally got up, went back in the shower and rinsed herself. Harm stood up and looked at his clothes. His shirt was torn and his pants stained with water. They faced each other with unease.

« Nell... »

« Harm... don't worry, it doesn't mean anything. We just... wanted to take comfort into each other, nothing more. »

Harm stayed silent while Nell went to the bedroom to get dressed.

They met again in the lobby. Nell was facing the entrance door with an air of fear. Harm walked up to her, took her hand.

« I'll walk out with you. »

« That was the first time... French people don't make a habit of shooting at one another. And they never let women see combat in the Air Force. »

« I'm here for you, Dragon. »

She lifted her eyes to him, took a deep breath and they walked out.

Everything was the same, and this took Nell by surprise. She had been so shocked by the shooting she thought everything would be different. People were walking by, going about their businesses, the sun was shining and the wind was blowing softly in the trees.

« Where do you want to go ? »

« I have to get back there. At the café. »

« You're sure ? »

« Yes. It's what I've been training for all my career. »

« You're not a grunt, Nell, you're a pilot. You haven't been trained for that. »

« Still. »

« All right. »

Keeping her hand in his, he led her around the corner of the block. There, however, everything was still in chaos. Police cars were blocking the street, techs and officers were working amongst the debris, and blood was still staining the pavement. Nell had to take another deep breath.

A man wearing a badge on his civilian clothes met them at the yellow tape that was blocking the sidewalk.

« I know who you are. You were in the café when they shot. »

« Yes. »

Harm handed the detective the report he wrote.

« This is my statement. We'll send you Colonel Marchand's as soon as she writes hers. »

« Thank you. It was quick. »

« Memories are better when they're fresh. »

« That is true. I'm sorry you had to experience this. »

« Do you have a lead so far ? »

The detective looked at them suspiciously.

« Why do you want to know ? »

« Do you think we could have been the targets ? »

Nell paled. « Could it be true ? »

The man stayed quiet and then lowered his voice. « I don't believe so, because you were not in uniform. The man who was killed, the police know him. Albanian mafia. It's more probable he was the target. But politics... »

« Yeah, I get it. Thanks, Detective. »

He went back to the crime scene while Nell and Harm remained still.

« What now ? »

« I'm not really in the mood for a museum visit, Harm. »

« We could tour the city, what do you think ? It's beautiful I hear. »

« Yes, let's walk. »

The city was indeed beautiful. Little streets of cobbled stone, castles with turrets, and an amazing view from the ramparts. When they stopped for dinner, Harm chose an italian restaurant and they went all the way inside. They both felt safer with a wall behing their backs.

« How are you right now? »

« Better. I may have to talk with a shrink when I'm back on base, but the first shock is gone. What about you ? I know it's not the first time you've been shot at. »

« I'm okay. It's been a while, though. And I never enjoy it. »

Later in the night, Nell had a nightmare. She tought about fighting it on her own, even getting drunk to be able not to see it all over again, but in the end she called Harm. He came right away and they spent the night in each other's arms, until dawn broke.

They had thought they would spend a lovely weekend together, but it had turned out badly. The only good thing was they hadn't been wounded.

Chapter 12

October 2nd 1999

Camp Bondsteel, Kosovo

Nell closed the lid and sat down on the toilet. She was holding her future in her hands. One line and her life would go on without a hitch. Two lines and her life... her life would change forever.

She waited one minute. Two minutes...

Virginie stepped into the apartment yelling « _NELL !_ ».

Nell jumped and walked into the living room. « _What ?_ »

« _I've been knocking on the door for the last ten minutes ! What were you doing ? Didn't you hear me ?_ »

« _Sorry... I got... distracted._ »

« _By what ? You're okay ?_ »

« _I... _»

She looked at the white plastic stick. « _My life is about to change._ »

« _Oh my Gosh ! You're pregnant ?_ »

Nell sat on the sofa, Virginie in front of her on the coffee table.

« _Yeah... _»

Virginie looked at her friend with concern. « _Is that good news or bad news ?_ »

« _I don't know. I have no idea what to do about it._ »

« _We could make a decisions tree._ »

Nell stared at Virginie. « _A what ?_ »

Virginie got up, took a sheet of paper and drew a box. Inside, she wrote 'Baby ?'. She drew another box, and a line connecting the two.

« _First answer is 'No', which leads to 'Back to normal' in a couple of weeks. Second answer,_ » she wrote in another box, «_ is yes._ »

She started drawing lines and boxes while enumerating all possibilities.

« _If you have the baby, you can either give it up for adoption, or keep it. And if you keep it, you can either keep it to yourself, or share with the dad. Who's the dad, by the way ? You haven't been with anyone since you broke up with Charles. At least that I know of._ »

« _I told you about Dubrovnik. Well, I left a detail out. When we got back to the hotel, Harm and I... we kinda... jumped on each other. Survival instinct I guess. _»

« _Are you going to tell him ?_ »

« _I don't know. The only thing I know for sure is I can't fly anymore._ »

Virginie stayed silent.

« _I need to see a doctor and have some blood work done__. He will tell the General, who will ground me. And once I'm grounded, the squadron will want to know why. Rumors go fast, so I'll have to tell them as well. Everybody will k__now even before I call my parents to announce the news._ »

She sighed. « _I have to take a decision first._ »

« _How far along are you ? Three, four weeks ?_ »

« _Twenty-three days._ »

« _You still have all options available._ »

Nell didn't talk for a minute.

« _The first thing you should do is talk with the doctor. He'll give you a physical, answer your questions. He's no OB-GYN, but he has some fancy equipment._ »

« _Yeah. I'll ask him if he can keep it quiet for a few days. Thanks Ginny._ »

They hugged. « _You're welcome. I'm here for you, always._ »

« _I know._ »

Later that week, Nell walked into the doctor's office.

« _Twenty-seven days. All right, let's see what we have here. I'm not a specialist, but it's not my first pregnancy sonogram._ »

He covered Nell's belly with gel and put the probe down. At first, Nell saw only grey and white. The sounds were coming from her insides, her own heartbeat. The doctor moved the probe around, trying to check everything. And then he stopped, pushed. And Nell heard a fluttering, fast and strong.

« _We have a heartbeat. Here it is._ »

The white and grey became more definite and she saw a teeny tiny white thing on the black.

« _It's very early yet, so arms and legs don't show up._ »

He turned knobs on his machine and the white thing became bigger.

« _But you're definitly pregnant. I'll wait for you in my office while you get dressed._ » He turned off the machine, but the last image remained on the screen.

Nell stayed alone with her thoughts, and the image of... her future baby. It did look more like a blob at this stage, but she had heard the heartbeat. And knew she was going to cross one of the boxes on her chart.

This baby was staying with her.

Chapter 13

October 1999

Abord the USS Patrick Henry

In the Adriatic sea

Dear Nell,

I'm on the crow's nest at the moment, looking over the deck and thinking. I had a talk with the CAG earlier and... my carreer as a Naval Aviator may come to an end sooner than I expected. I missed a couple of wars, I don't have enough flight hours or traps to command a squadron... I love flying, Nell, I so love it. You know the feeling of flying a jet. It's a feeling like no other.

But I have to think of my career. There's a court martial on board at the moment, the fleet JAG doesn't know a thing about this end of the law, he's more of an administrative lawyer. And I can't help but trying to help. When I lost my flying status in '91, I was reluctant to go into law. And now, it seems I can't wait to get back to it.

But if I leave, maybe I should say « when I leave », it's going to be my choice, and on my time. I'll be able to keep my flying status, do my quals. I've come to love the law. I'll be leaving with my head high, having served well, having nothing else to prove. The squadron gave me a new callsign today, the same as my fathers, Hammer. I feel so honored, and proud. I do regret leaving flying and sea duty. But I think I'll love being back into the courtroom. I'll tell you how it goes.

Fly high always !

Harm

Dear Harm,

Life has a way of closing doors in front of our noses just when we expect it the least, only to push them open again when, again, we expect it the least. I'm sorry you're leaving your flight squadron, but I'm glad you'll be doing something you love equally.

I'm coming to the States next month, I'll be in Washington for a day or two. If you're back, or on shore leave, let me know ! I'd love to see you !

Take care of my flyboy !

Nell

Chapter 14

November 1999

Harm's apartment

At the knock on the door, Harm wiped his hands on the towel and went to open.

« Nell ! I'm so happy to see you ! »

« You too sailor ! »

They hugged warmly.

« I'm glad you came. »

« I wasn't going to pass through Washington and not see you. »

« How long are you here ? »

Nell sat to the stool at the bar, and Harm opened his fridge.

« What can I get you ? White wine, beer ? »

« A glass of sparkling water will be fine. Thanks. I'm leaving the day after tomorrow. »

« You're not staying long ! »

« I've already been here for a few days, visiting friends in Richmond. I told you my grandfather was a Liaison Officer at NATO for the French Army. He spent a year in the States, and made a friend, Colonel Bruehl. I spent a summer with him and his family when I was a teenager, and we've stayed in touch ever since. »

« Nice ! »

« Yeah. »

Nell was playing with her drink, looking a bit distant. Harm set the timer on his oven and sat down on a stool facing her.

« Nell ? What's going on ? »

She looked at Harm and took a deep breath.

« Harm... Our stay in Dubrovnik... it had some consequences. »

« Consequences ? »

« Yeah... I'm pregnant. »

Harm opened his mouth, closed it, flabbergasted.

« You're sure ? »

« Yes. I'm sorry, it's all my fault. I was twelve hours late in taking my pill, and the doctor told me it was enough. »

« Don't blame yourself, Nell. It's equally my fault for not taking precautions. What are you going to do about it ? »

« I'm keeping the baby. I wouldn't be here if I hadn't. »

« And... what about me ? »

« You can choose the place you want in the baby's life. You can be a part of it, visitation rights, or none at all if you prefer. »

Harm looked at Nell's belly.

« No, I'm not showing yet. »

She took an envelope out of her bag and handed it to Harm.

« This is for you. »

Inside, Harm found some pictures. He had no idea what he was looking at until...

« Is it... our baby ? »

« Yes. » Nell smiled softly. « It doesn't look much like a baby yet, but you can see its head and its body. It's about one inch long. »

Harm had trouble breathing. His eyes were fixed on the photos.

« Am I... am I going to be a father ? »

« Yes. »

His eyes filled. He looked at Nell's belly again. She extanded her hand, took his and placed it on her abdomen. He lifted his gaze and looked into Nell's eyes.

« I want to be in this baby's life. I want to be a father. »

« I was hoping you'd say that. »

They stayed silent for a while. The oven's timer rang and made them jump.

« Lasagna's ready. »

Harm hesitated. « Can you eat that ? Do you have a special diet ? It's salmon and spinach. »

« It's perfect. Don't worry. »

Harm served them and they started to eat.

« It's delicious ! »

« Thanks. So, what now ? I assume you can't fly anymore. »

« No, I've been grounded since I told my CO at the beginning of October. I've been working at the control tower. »

« How is it ? »

« Pretty intense. But I enjoy it more than I thought I would. But God I miss flying. »

« Yeah, I know the feeling. You're planning on staying in France ? »

« I'm considering my options. One of them is staying in France. »

Harm paused, pondering his own options.

« I wonder if they need American lawyers in France. »

« I'm sorry, I wouldn't know. But one of my options is working for NATO in Washington. I'm meeting someone tomorrow. »

« You would consider moving here ? »

« You were thinking about moving to France. I don't like American food, except yours, I have the utmost contempt for your health insurance system, but yes, I can move here. »

« About health benefits... »

« If I work for NATO, it'll be a French representative, so French insurance kicks in. No worries about that. »

« Okay. And what would you do for NATO ? »

« Liaison officer. Could be interesting. But they don't send pregnant women overseas, so I'd have to wait until my maternity leave is over. I'm due on June 19th, so that would be around the end of August, September if I can get an extension. »

« You wouldn't be coming back before that ? »

« I haven't organized anything yet. I wanted to see you before starting any plan. »

« I'm with you all the way. I can get a temporary leave in June, so I'll be here for the birth of our baby. Do... do you know yet if it's a boy or a girl ? »

« No, it's way too early to tell. »

« Have you thought about names yet ? »

« No. I want to wait until I'm three months along to start on that. »

« Why wait ? »

« Well, most miscarriages happen during the first three months, so... »

« Oh. »

« The doctor said the heartbeat is strong, so that's a good sign. »

« Are you... happy about it ? I mean, this is really unexpected. »

« At first I was lost, and a bit mad, because I couldn't fly anymore. But now... yeah, I'm happy. »

« Me too. I haven't been in a relationship with a woman long enough to envision children, and I was starting to wonder if I would ever be a dad some day. Thank you, Nell. »

« For what ? »

« For keeping the baby, and telling me about it. »

« Harm, I've known you for over nine years. We're good friends. I would never have kept it from you. »

Harm reached over the bar and took Nell's hand. « Thanks. »

They smiled at each other.

The next day

NATO office in Washington DC

Nell entered the office stood at attention.

«_ Lieutenant-Colonel Nell Marchand, reporting as ordered._ »

« _At ease, Colonel. Have a seat._ »

« _Thank you, mon Colonel._ »

« _So, you'd like to work for NATO ? I have your resume here, and it's quite impressive. Djibouti, Bosnia. And the letter of recommendation General Roux wrote is very positive. But you don't want to fly anymore ?_ »

« _Unfortunately, Sir, my desire to fly is not in question here. I'm grounded due to my pregnancy. I can go back on flight status in about a year, but I'm considering relocation in the States so I can be closer to the baby's father. Working for NATO as a liaison officer would be a good option. _»

« _What do you know about what we do ?_ »

« _About the job itself, not much. But I've worked under NATO's flag, flown with pilots from different nations, and I'm fluent in English. I'm willing to study, have a training course to learn what needs to be done._ »

« _And when would you be available ?_ »

« _Early September. I'm due around June 19__th__, so taking into consideration my maternity leave, not earlier than August 28__th__._ »

« _So it's very early yet._ »

« _Yes, Sir. I'm in my tenth week._ »

« _So you may be able to move in... let's say January ? _»

« _Technically, yes, Sir. But I'm not sure I'd be allowed to._ »

« _Here is my problem : my Air Force liaison is retiring on December 31__st__. I need to replace him, but the two people that were selected can't make it. You'd be a perfect candidate. Would you be okay to start in January ?_ »

« _I don't see why not, sir. I just have to find a place to live._ »

« _Well, since Lieutenant-Colonel Petit is returning to France, his apartment is available. I'll see to it that you can move in as soon as he's out. I'll give him your contact information._ »

« _Thank you sir._ »

« _I'll contact your CO and administration to deal with the paperwork. If everything goes well, you'll be with us in a couple of months !_ »

Their final handshake was firm, and made Nell smile. This new chapter of her life seemed to be more exciting than ever !


	4. Chapter 15-17

Chapter 15

December 21st 1999

Nell had been in Washington for less than three days, and she was already feeling overwhelmed.

First, the apartment Lt-Colonel Petit was leaving needed some furniture, and since she had been living on base, in full furnished apartments, all her career, she had to buy at least a bed, a sofa and a bookcase. That meant a trip to the furniture store. Without a car.

Then, a visit to her new office had revealed that none of her new collegues were aware she was coming. And her training course hadn't been planned. She was starting in a few weeks, and she had no idea what her job would entitle. Luckily her green card and immigration papers were in order.

And finally, Harm had invited her to dinner that night, and then to the JAG Christmas party the following day.

Not to mention going back France to spend the holidays with her family then going back to Washington soon after that.

Her pregnancy was going well, thankfully, but she had been getting increasingly tired this past week, as well as jet-lagged, and when she was tired, she was cranky.

She had high hopes for this dinner with Harm to be simple, and without drama.

Harm on the other hand, had been getting increasingly nervous about introducing Nell to his coworkers and friends. How do you introduce the mother of your unborn child ? My companion ? My friend ? And should he mention the baby ?

He also had made a decision, and he was hoping Nell would be on board with it. But he was very anxious about it.

So when he opened the door, none of them were not feeling their best.

« Hey ! »

« Hey Nell. How are you ? »

« Tired mostly. It's been a rough couple of days. » She then proceeded to tell him about all the worries she'd had lately. Harm set them up with a nice dinner and her mood lifted.

« Nell... I've been thinking... Did I tell you about my dad ? »

« Yes, some. He went MIA during the Vietnam war, right ? »

« Yes. He was a Naval Aviator and he disappeared on Christmas eve 1969. I was six years old. »

« I'm sorry. It must have been hard growing up without your father. »

« Very. I... I realized that if anything happens to me, you will find yourself all alone. You won't qualify for death benefits, or inherit what I own. That's why I thought... »

Harm took a little box out of his pocket and opened it to reveal a ring.

« I thought we should get married. It would be a security for you and our baby. »

Nell put down her fork and shook her head.

« Harm ! No woman wants to hear she should marry for security. If you want to convince me to tie the knot, you'll have to find something else ! »

Harm opened his mouth, closed it, looked at the ring and back at Nell.

« Nell... »

She waited patiently while he was trying to think of something.

« I want to be there for you and the baby. »

« You can be there even if we're not married. Try again. »

Harm hesitated. « Well, it's a good reason, isn't it ? »

« I'm sure it is, but it's not the right reason. Come on, let's eat, maybe youll come up with the right reason with your stomach full. »

After a few minutes, Nell asked again. « So ? Any other way to make me say yes ? »

Harm stayed silent for another minute. « Would you make a family with me ? »

Nell's eyes filled. « See, that wasn't so hard. »

« So, you're saying... yes ? »

« Yes. I'll make a family with you. »

Harm smiled and put the ring on Nell's finger. It was a square cut diamond set between by two triangle cut sapphires.

« Oh, Harm, it's beautiful ! Navy and Air Force. »

« You like it ? »

«A lot. And now I know what nickname our baby is going to have. »

« A nickname ? »

« We can't just call him 'the baby'. So, what do you think of 'Baby Blue' ? »

Harm put his hand on Nell's womb. « Yeah, sounds good. Hello Baby Blue ! »

She had a cry of surprise and put her hand over Harm's.

« What ? »

« He moved ! I felt the baby move ! »

« Oh. I didn't. »

« I'm sorry. He's so tiny. I promise you'll feel him too. »

« You're past three months, right ? »

« Yes, I'm in my fifteenth week. Beginning of the fourth month. »

« I had an idea for a boy's name. What do you think about calling him Harmon ? »

« Like you. »

« And like my father. I'm Harmon Junior. He would be Harmon the third. »

« Well, that's a big name for a little boy. Counter-offer, counselor : Harmon as a middle name, with another first name. Deal ? »

« That would be an acceptable offer. Did you have something in mind ? »

« Well, I like Elliot. And Bosco too. And Falco. And for a girl ? Do you have an idea ? »

« I like Gabrielle. »

« Gabrielle... I hadn't thought about it. Gaby... I like it. Gabrielle Alice. My grandmother's name is Alice. What do you think ? »

« Gabrielle Alice. It's on the list. And I like Elliot. Elliot Harmon, yeah. »

« Well, it's a good start. »

« Tomorrow, at the party, do you want to tell everyone about Baby Blue ? »

« If you don't mind, I'd rather not. You're going to tell them about our engagement, maybe... keep it one news at a time ? I'm not showing yet, so we can tell them when I come back after the holidays, what do you think ? »

« If that's what you want, okay. »

« Thanks. I had to tell my squadron way too early for my taste, plus it will give your colleagues a second occasion to rejoice with us. »

« All right. »

« I appreciate it. We can do a baby party in the spring if you want. »

« I don't know about that... »

Harm linked his fingers with Nell's over her belly. « We're going to make a good family. »

Chapter 16

December 22nd 1999

JAG HQ

Nell was quite anxious when she entered the bullpen. It was bustling with people coming right and left. A blond lieutenant came to her with a smile.

« Hello, ma'am. Can I help you ? »

« Hello. I'm looking for Lieutenant Commander Rabb. »

« His office is right here, if he's not in, he should be shortly. »

« Thank you, lieutenant. »

When she entered Harm's office, she smiled. He had displayed his flight helmet and souvenirs in a way nobody could miss. She took a look at the pictures on the wall, recognised some faces.

« Nell ! »

« Hey Harm. It's nice to see them. Do you still miss it ? »

« Less than I did before. Leaving the squadron was my choice this time. Do you ? »

« Yes. But I made that choice too, and for the best of reasons. »

« You still want to keep it quiet ? »

« If you don't mind, yes. We'll tell them when I come back. »

« All right. Let's go. »

Nell took a deep breath before entering the conference room.

« Nervous ? »

« A bit, yes. »

« Don't worry, they don't bite. Except maybe the Admiral. »

They smiled and he opened the door. A few people were already inside, helping themselves of champagne and appetizers. He took Nell towards a tall, balding man that was obviously his boss.

« Admiral, I'd like you to meet Lieutenant-Colonel Hélène Marchand, of the French Air Force. »

« Colonel, nice to meet you. »

« You too, Sir. »

« Nell was a fighter pilot and we flew together for the last time last summer. »

« I didn't know they had female pilots in the French Air Force. »

« I'm the first one, Sir. »

« And a good one. » Harm added.

« Thanks ! »

« Are you better than him, Colonel ? »

Nell looked taken aback. « I'd say as good as him, Sir. »

« Then you did a good job, Colonel. »

« Thank you, Sir. And it's Nell. »

« Would you like some champagne ? »

« No, thank you. I'll get some sparkling water. »

She approached the table when a Marine Lieutenant Colonel was helping herself to some water as well.

« Non alcooholic beverage ? »

« Yes, please. »

« Here. I'm Mac. »

« Thanks. And I'm Nell. »

« You came in with Harm ? »

At that moment, Harm stepped close. « I see you've met. »

« Yes. Nell was about to tell me how she met you. »

Nell had a mischievous smile. « I shot him down. »

« You what ? »

« It was a simulated kill in a NATO exercise. » Harm was pouting a bit.

« I was a fighter pilot, and we were in opposite teams. He shot my wingman, so I retaliated. »

« And you shot him down. » Mac rang her glass against Nell's. « Good job ! »

« Thanks ! »

« I knew it was a mistake letting you two meet... »

Nell smiled. « Some things you can't avoid, Harm. »

The admiral raised his voice. « Everyone, please. Here is to another year almost gone, with people out and in. » He turned to Harm, who smiled sheppishly. « Again. Thanks to all of you for your hard work, and dedication. I expect no less from you next year. Merry Christmas. »

« Hear Hear ! » He raised his glass and everybody did the same.

Harm took Nell's hand and stepped forward. « I also have an announcement. Nell and I just got engaged. »

There were a lot of surprised looks, and Bud raised his glass. « Congratulations, Sir. All our best wishes. »

As just before, everyone raised their glasses. « Hear Hear ! »

Harriet jumped in front of them. « Oh, I'm so happy, Sir, Ma'am. »

« Thanks Harriet. Nell, Lieutenant Harriet Simms. »

« Can I... » Nell raised her left hand and Harriet beamed. « Oh, it's beautiful ! »

« Thanks. »

Other people started to gather around them. Nell glanced up at Harm and saw that he was watching someone. She followed his gaze and saw Mac, looking distraught. She looked back at Harm, saw the same troubled look on his face.

She kept smiling, and answering questions and congratulations, but her heart wasn't in it anymore.

When people started to back away, she excused herself and went to the bathroom. She locked herself in a stall and sat down. Harm had told her about Mac, his colleague and friend. She knew she had been here for him, and him for her in countless situations. They had saved each other's lives. But this look... Were they in love with each other ? Was she putting herself between them ?

Nell breathed slowly to regain her composure. She exited her stall, spashed water on her face and dried it with the tears that hadn't fallen.

She went back to the conference room and mingled again through JAG personnel. Harriet came up to her.

« So, have you set a date yet ? »

« No. He proposed yesterday, so we haven't thought about it yet. »

« When you have, Ma'am, I can help you with the planning. I got married just a year and a half ago, so a lot of details are still fresh in my memory. And in my wedding planning book. »

« Thanks, Harriet. I'll keep that in mind. And it's Nell. »

She found herslef near Mac a little while later.

« Congratulations, Nell. » Mac's smile was forced and didn't reach her eyes.

« Thank you, Mac. » Nell watched at Mac attentively, trying to discern something on the woman's face and behaviour. They parted without another word.

Later that evening, Nell and Harm went back to his apartment for a last dinner. Harm went to the phone to order some Thai delivery. Nell sat at the bar and looked at her ring.

« Harm... can I ask you a personnal question ? »

« Of course. What is it ? »

« What's between you and Mac ? »

« We're friends and colleagues. »

« Has there ever been... more ? »

Harm looked confused. « No. Why do you ask ? »

« If I exchanged looks with a friend the way you and Mac did, I would redefine our friendship... »

« Nell... »

« I'm not accusing you of anything, Harm. But from what I saw, there are still speculations and possibilities between you two. I'm sorry, Harm but you will have to make a choice. At the moment, you're facing two open doors. And you have to close one in order to get through the other. One leads to Mac, and all the possibilities you never explored, the other leads to me. »

Nell took the ring out and set in on the counter in front of Harm who looked stunned

« Whatever path you choose, you will always have a place in our baby's life, I promise you that. But you can't marry me just because I'm pregnant, and I can't wonder about you and Mac. Whoever you chose, you have to give yourself entirely. I'm really sorry that you have to make that choice. »

Nell got up, looking sad and tired.

« I can't back out now, so I'll still move to Washington next week. I'm going home tomorrow, to spend Christmas with my family. You can reach me when I come back »

She opened the door.

« Bye, Harm. »

Chapter 17

December 22nd 1999

Harm's apartment

Harm felt like he had been hit by a hammer. He looked at the ring, glistening under the light. When he had taken the decision to propose to Nell, he had thought it would be good for the baby, yes, but he also thought he wouldn't mind being married to her. She knew him by heart, and understood him better than anyone. They had known each other for almost ten years, and spent some good times together.

But Mac did understand him too. She had been here almost every day for the past three years, she had done things no one else had. She had followed him to Russia when he searched for his father. And he'd been here for her too, like when she had started drinking again.

At first, her ressemblance to Diane had been difficult to live with, he was expecting her at every turn and getting only hurt by their differences. But after a while, he started to like Mac for herself, not because she reminded him of Diane.

He felt so lost...

Nell has talked about possibilities. He never had a chance to explore the possibilities with Diane, he had never taken the chance to explore them with Mac. And he had taken a chance with Nell, but she had turned him down. Well not exactly, she had said he had a choice to make. And that scared him more than anything.

December 24th 1999, Christmas Eve

Vietnam Memorial Wall

Like almost every year, Harm was standing in front of his father's name inscribed in gold on black marble. He was wearing his uniform, to honor him.

But this night, Harm wasn't thinking about his dad. He was thinking about Nell and their baby, and Mac. Two days after their last conversation, he was still lost. He wanted to talk to his dad, but what he wanted more was having his dad answer.

He lit a candle, stayed a minute or two, and left. He went back to his apartment, changed, packed a small bag and headed to the airport. He didn't have a dad, but he had a step-dad. And even if they hadn't been close when he was younger, they had a good relationship now.

December 24th 1999

LaJolla, California

Harm arrived at his parents' house late in the evening, but they were still up. He was happy to see his mom, but he couldn't wait to talk to Frank.

He was up early the next morning, more out of habit than because there were gifts to open. He made some coffee and drank it while mulling over the whole situation.

Like he expected, Frank entered the kitchen alone. They shook hands.

« Merry Christmas, Harm ! »

« Merry Christmas to you too, Frank. Coffee ? »

« Thanks. You're up early. »

« Yeah... I couldn't sleep. Frank... »

« Yes ? »

« Can I ask for your advice ? »

« I'm touched you want it. I'm all ears. »

« You remember my friend Nell ? »

« The French pilot ? Didn't you visit some city in Bosnia, or something last summer ? »

« Dubrovnik in Croatia, yes. What I never told you or mom is that... we've always been more than friends. »

« That happens. »

« She's pregnant. »

« Oh... Is it yours ? »

« Yeah. Nell wouldn't lie about that. Anyway, I asked her to marry me. At first, she said yes. But then she met Mac, and she gave me the ring back. »

« Why would she do that ? »

« She said I had to choose between Mac and her. But there's nothing between me and Mac. »

« Are you sure ? »

« I... »

« When you picture Mac in your mind, what is your first thought ? »

Harm took a second to think.

« … challenge. She always keeps me on my toes, pushes at me. And when we're on opposites sides in the courtroom, she doesn't give an inch. I have to bring my A-game everytime. »

« And when you think of Nell ? »

Again, Harm stayed silent for a minute.

« … peace. She's the most self-assured person I know. She has absolute trust in who she is, and she doesn't need to prove anything to anyone. And that makes being with her very peaceful. There's a... simplicity about her. Balance. »

« And if you picture yourself in ten years, what do you see ? Challenge or peace ? That's the real question. More than physical attraction, the important thing in a relationship is knowing the other person and knowing what this person will bring you. And Nell being pregnant doesn't matter. »

Harm sipped his coffee in silence. He let Frank's word sink in. What did he want in life ? He was about to speak again when he heard his mom coming in the kitchen.

« Please don't tell her anything. She'd worry like crazy. »

« I'll keep everything to myself. »

« Thanks. I appreciate it. »

« Hello Harm ! Merry Christmas ! »

« Hello, mom. Merry Christmas to you too. »

He gave her a small package.

« Oh, thank you Harm ! Oh, it's lovely ! »

Patricia fastened the bracelet he had given her around her wrist and hugged him.

« If you don't mind, I'm going to go for a run, I need to clear my head. »

He went back to his room to change. Trish turned to Frank.

« What's going on with him ? »

« Girl trouble. I expect he will tell you soon. »

Harm chose the beach to run. He needed the mindless rhythm of the run, and he was pretty sure he wouldn't meet a lot of people on the beach this early. He started with an easy pace, enjoying the fresh air and the sea breeze. After a few minutes, Harm began to feel his muscles loosen and he picked up the pace. He was starting to really enjoy his run when it hit him : he had been half in love with both Mac and Nell for quite some time.

Mac was his partner in court and in life, she was his match in a lot of ways. They had been together to hell and back, and the kiss they had shared was still burning in his mind. She had become an essential part of his life, and he had no idea if he could do without her.

And Nell had charmed him from the start, in bed and in the air. She had been his confident for years, they had trusted each other completely. With her, he felt no pressure, no expectations, he could just be himself and it was like putting down a burden. And he enjoyed a lot making love to her.

Both women were so important to him. How could he choose ? He decided to follow Frank's advice and picture his life in ten years. He kept running on the beach, putting one foot in front of the other paying no more attention to his surroundings.

With Nell first. So they were parents, a boy, and maybe a second child, a girl this time. He would have been promoted to Captain, would he still be at JAG ? Probably. Still in Washington ? He may be given a job elsewhere, running a JAG office in some other part of the world. She would have followed him, that meant getting another job, again. Would she agree to that ? And what could she do ? Working in a control tower, like she did now ? Or getting a commercial licence ? That would be like spending all your life driving a race car and switching to a school bus.

And would they still be together ? That he could picture. A Christmas morning, a log in the fireplace and a tree, two kids opening presents, and both him and Nell sitting on the sofa, his arm around her shoulders. He could picture her smile, her weight against him. She was a cuddler, and he figured that wouldn't change.

It would be peaceful. A quiet life. Was that what he wanted ? Would courtroom action be enough for him ?

And what kind of life would he have with Mac ? Once they started dating, they couldn't work together anymore, so one of them would have to switch careers. But which one ? They both loved their jobs. With his eyes fixed, he could shift to sea duty, maybe captain a ship. Mac could stay at JAG. But would she care for the life of a Navy wife, with him being at sea six months out of a year ? Or would he go into the private sector ? Would he like it ?

And if he stayed at JAG, what could she do ? What job could the Corps offer a lawyer outside of JAG ? Or would she go back to the private sector, like she had before ? Could she change her designator and go to a combat unit ? And what about kids ? They had this informal deal about making a baby, but the timing had to be right for her career. He was sure of one thing, Mac wouldn't care for a quiet life. She liked action, challenge. Like he had told Frank, she would always push at him, confront him. Talking with her was always stimulating. But if they didn't work together anymore, there wouldn't be as much challenge and action.

The idea of finally making love to her was enticing, though. He'd wanted to see what was underneath her stiff Marine uniform for quite some time.

He tried to picture their life in ten years. But without a clear idea of their professional paths, it was harder to imagine. However he could see a dinner together, talking about their jobs, the current cases, asking for each other's advice, talking on the phone while he was on his ship.

After running for almost an hour, he was nowhere closer to figuring out his future. He stopped for a minute, out of breath, drank at a fountain and started his run back. This time, he tried to picture his life without them. Again, Nell first.

If he married Mac, Nell had assured him he would be part of their baby's life. He assumed the first years she would have exclusive custody, that was normal. He could visit often. But what if he was assigned elsewhere ? Or if she moved back to France ? They would keep in touch, but at what cost ? And what would be Mac's attitude towards that child ? Would she keep wondering about Nell and him ? Would she ever doubt him ?

And if he married Nell, what place would Mac have in his life ? If they both stayed at JAG, not much would change. He expected they would feel weird about each other for a while, then they would find a new rhythm, a new way to be around each other. There would still be occasional court disputes, and investigations around the world. Would the Admiral still send them together ? Brumby was crazy about her, would he convince her to give him a chance ? And what if they moved to Australia ? She would be on the other side of the world, would they keep in touch ?

Harm tripped and fell in the sand, winded. He started to get up, and decided to remain seated for a moment. He hadn't taken any time to watch the sea, and it was something he had always enjoyed. First, when his dad had been deployed at sea, then when Frank had taken them to the Bahamas after he had married his mom, and again when he was on carrier duty.

He watched the waves and thought that Nell had been right. He had to close a door and walk through the other. A coward would have deserted them both, but he wasn't one. He knew he was going to deeply hurt one of the woman he cared most about in the world, and he couldn't avoid it. The idea made him sad and weary. And how to tell her ? And with that thought, he knew his heart had settled down. He knew where his future lied. He came back to his mother's house at a lighter pace, and wrote a letter.


	5. Chapter 18

Chapter 18

December 27th 1999

Harm had intended to stay the whole week in California, but he had a letter to post, and someone to see. It took him several phone calls, four different flights, and over twenty four hours, but he finally made it.

He stepped out of the cab, paid the driver and stood in front of the fence for a moment, admiring the house. It was a typical farm of the Basque region of France, painted white with red trimmings and shutters. There was no bell to ring, so he opened the low gate and entered. He walked to the house, and was wondering on which door to knock when he heard dogs barking. He stopped right where he was, unsure of what would happen next. Someone opened a door, and two fur bullet shot out and went straight for him. They started sniffing at him, being curious but not threatening.

When Harm caught sight of Nell, his heart did a summersault in his chest and settled back again, and he knew in that moment he had made the right choice. He hadn't chosen Nell because she was pregnant, but because he was craving the innate peace between them. Nell recognized Harm and made her way to him. She whistled and the dogs sat down, butts wriggling on the ground.

« Hey, Flyboy. » Nell's smile was huge. He thought he would see this smile often in his future, and he enjoyed the idea. And he promised himself he would do his best never to see this smile falter.

« Hey, Dragon. »

The dogs were whining so she gave them a rub on the head. « This is Scaramouche and this is Figaro. There are good dogs, just overly friendly. »

Harm extanded his hand and let the dogs sniff him. They gave him a lick and asked for a pat. He obliged, and on Nell's wave, they jumped and ran in the meadow.

They stood, face to face, looking intensely at each other. Harm took Nell's hand.

« The door I walked through leads to you and our baby. Will you marry me, Nell ? »

Nell's smile had a tease in it. « You're not talking about of security this time ? »

Harm laughed. « Never again, I promise. »

« Then it's a yes. I'll marry you. »

Harm put his hand on Nell's cheek and kissed her. She sighed and they got lost in the tenderness. They stayed embraced for a moment, savoring the affection that linked them. When he had pushed the gate open, Harm hadn't been sure of his heart. But holding Nell in his arms, feeling her against him, he knew he had made the right choice. The feel of her was right. He still grieved closing Mac's door, but being with Nell was... right. Like a jigsaw piece that had found its place.

They were disturbed when Nell's brother Nicolas darted by them on his bike and catcalled. Nell waived with a smile and led Harm inside. She thought fleetingly about asking him how he found her here. But thinking back, her father had been quite secretive the day before, with some phone call he took privately. She smiled and mentally thanked him for the surprise.

Meeting her family was less stressful than Harm had thought. Bruno, her general of a father was pretty much like any other general her had met, straight forward and serious. Her sister Isabelle was petite and charming, and she welcomed him with a smile that told him she and Nell had been talking about him. And he figured her brother-in-law Benoît was military from the first handshake. Since they would become his family too, he was enjoying the familiar territory. They had three kids, two young boys that kept running around and a newborn girl.

But when Nell's mom came out of the kitchen, he suddenly felt not so much at ease. Barbara was a tall willowy woman, with hair dyed the most bright red, dressed in a long dress and flowing shawls. She was so different from what he expected, he didn't know what to say after the first hello. She welcomed him with a smile, so he relaxed a bit. Her accent was also intriguing to Harm's ear and he discretely asked Nell.

« My mother's German. They met when dad was stationned in Stuttgart. »

Harm only ever spoke English, so French and German in-laws was going to be a challenge. And he realized he was ready for anything for Nell and their baby.

Nell felt her heart would explode from the joy of seeing Harm. His coming here, calling her dad to get directions to surprise her was more than she had hoped. When she had seen him in the alley, her heart had skipped a beat, and she had recognized the feeling for what it was : love. She was in love with Harmon Rabb Jr. She probably had been for quite some time, but now was the time to accept it and let it grow. Would he be in love with her one day ? She had been ready to give him up, to let him go away to another woman, but now, he was stuck with her, and she was going to make sure he never regretted his decision.

Nell's room was on the second floor, on to front of the house, facing west. Through the french doors leading to a balcony, Harm could see the mountains on the horizon. He thought it was a lovely sight, one he would be happy to see in the morning when opening the shutters. He put his bag on the floor and turned to Nell. She was tidying the room in a hurry, putting away clothes, making the bed. He had never seen her so messy.

« Sorry. I always let go of all my military training when I'm around my mother. She has a way of making me forget I'm usually neat. »

« Moms can do that. »

« There's room in the closet if you want to put away your clothes. Bathroom is next door. I forgot to ask you how long you're staying. »

« I have to be back at JAG on January 3rd, so I took a ticket for a flight back on the first. I don't have any plans before that. »

Nell shoved what she was holding in a drawer and turned to Harm.

« I'm glad. »

Harm put his hands on Nell's waist and pulled her towards him. She put her arms around him and put her ear on his heart. She felt his sigh and the weight of his chin on her head. His arms came around her and they embraced tenderely. They stood there for a moment, in a tender embrace.

Nell had a sudden move and put her hand on her belly.

« What is it ? »

« I felt the baby move ! »

Harm put his own hand on Nell's belly and felt a small movement, soft like a feather. He felt his heart skip a beat, and then settle again. Seing the pictures of the sonogram was one thing, but he knew feeling this tiny life inside of Nell was changing his life. Tears welled up in his eyes and he rested his foreheard on hers.

Once again they were interrupted, this time by two little boys who came in running.

« _Lunch is ready_ ! »

« _We're having peas and carrots and roast beef_ ! »

« _Why are you hugging ?_ »

Harm smiled at them, a bit unsure about what to do or say. Nell shooshed them.

« _We'll be down in a minute. Go wash up !_ »

Nell put her arms around Harm's neck and gave him a kiss that reminded him of Naples. She unhooked her hands and started to leave when Harm stopped.

« I almost forgot ! »

He picked something up in his bag and handed it to Nell. It was the engagement ring he had given her only a few days before.

« Will you wear it ? »

« Of course ! »

She offered her hand and he put the ring back on her finger.

Harm thought « Just where it belongs. »

And Nell thought « This time it's on for good. »

Same day

Mac's apartment

The hand-written letter surprised Mac, and she frowned her brow when she recognized Harm's penmanship. She went back to her apartment and sat down to read it. It was the first letter he had written to her and something told her it was important.

Dear Sarah,

I'm sorry I didn't tell you I was getting engaged. So much happened these past few months and I didn't take the time.

Nell and I met flying in the early nineties, and we have stayed in touch over the years. We flew together again last summer and things took... an unexpected turn. I might as well tell you, we're having a baby in June.

You're a very dear friend of mine, Sarah, and I'm sorry I hurt you. We have a partnership unlike any I've experienced. You've been at my side in the most dire situations, followed me to Hell and back. We have endured and experienced many incredible things and I have so much respect for you and everything you are. You brought the best in me by simply being you.

But my path has veered off away from you, and I had to close the door on what might have happened between us. Even though it hurts right now, this is what's best for the both of us.

When I come back in January, I know things will be different. But I want to stay friends with you. It will probably feel weird working together for a while, but I think we can find an new rythm, a new way to be around each other. I want to make this friendship work, I really do. I hope you do too.

And I hope you find a man who loves you like you deserve. Who knows, maybe Brumby will be able to win you over now that I'm out.

I wish you all the best.

Harm

As she was reading, Mac felt her heart break. She thought he had carefully chosen his words, and each of them was like a knife drawing blood. At the end, tears were rolling freely down her cheeks. Curse him. Curse him for opening her heart, make her want, curse him for making her believe.

This girl was coming out of nowhere, and she was stealing her sailor right from under her nose ! When Harm had announced his engagement, she couldn't believe it. She even had a few nice words with that girl before he had released the news. But of course, she was a pilot, so they had that in common. But she had never been around before. How could he have gotten her pregnant ? June... that would place the conception in... September. When they were both flying.

And Mac remembered. Harm had told her he went to visit Dubrovnik with a friend, and they'd been shot at. She assumed it was a male friend, someone from the carrier. She'd been afraid for his security. Not his heart.

The baby, the sudden engagement, Mac thought Harm had once more been the perfect gentleman and done the right thing. She wondered if that marriage would last. The girl seemed taken up with him. And Harm had a deal with her first anyway. When baby AJ was born, he was the one saying they should have a baby in five years. Would he be divorced by then, and able to uphold his promise ?

Mac was so hurt she wanted to break something. Instead, she packed her gym bag and headed out. A session with gloves and a sandbag would do her good.


End file.
